Gina came over this afternoon...and I cooked us lunch. I made Welsh Rarebit...I'm quite proud of that. :) After that Gina and I did some shopping in the town centre. After she left I collapsed into my bed and slept for quite a while. I am so exhausted...again. And I have an appointment every day (Mon-Fri) next week...I have a bad feeling about this. I guess we'll see how things go.

I'm going to go watch Roseanne and have another soda before I go to bed again. I would like to be at least semi-awake when Bets and Bri come this afternoon!

Sunday afternoon my sister and her hubby are bringing me a bookcase...a full sized bookcase! I am so excited! Bookcase space is at a premium here, as I've mentioned before. M. and I cleared a space for it Friday afternoon.

I am happy to report that on Thursday afternoon, I bent down to get a pitcher to make some iced tea in and my back made a horrible and very loud popping noise and then when I stood up again...it wasn't hurting anymore! :D Of course my knee started in on me Friday, but a little Ibuprofen and a Vicodin took care of that no problem. I get my TENS unit on Monday...so that will also help!

Later today Gina is coming over and I am going to make us Welsh Rarebit for lunch and then we are going to the stationery store in the town centre cos they are having a sale/party thing...and I'm sure you guys know I cannot resist a stationery sale! ;)

Okay that's about all that's new around here today. I hope everyone is doin' groovy!

I was walking home from the town centre, and my stupid back went out on me. I am in so much pain! Stupid fucking back! Sometimes, I wish I could have a body transplant...just take my brain and put it in a new body and hook everything up. It doesn't have to be some smokin' hot supermodel body either...I'll take another short and very round one...I'm okay with that! I just want one that isn't broken!


I tried to make this entry last night, but my computer had some sort of brain fart of epic proportions and I couldn't get back online to finish, so that's why I backdated the entry...in case you were wondering.

I have to go get dressed now, I have an appointment with the hand physio lady. *sigh* I don't want to go. I want to stay on the couch where my back hurts slightly less!!

So, my hair is mostly gone again. :) I went and got my hair shaved today. It feels so much better, it was icky cos it was bleached. I will probably keep it this way for a while. I'm sure you want to see a picture, right? ;) I can do that...clicky and clicky again to see it full sized if you want to.


I have to see the psychiatrist tomorrow. It will be the 2nd time I've seen her. I'm looking forward to her reaction. I'll try to remember to update you on it tomorrow.

Not much else is happening. M. is sick...so I've been trying to do as much of the housework as I can. I can't even begin to keep up with it, but I'm doing the best I can. Stupid messy kitchen! I need a self-cleaning kitchen! ;)

I just realised I forgot to share pictures of the pumpkin I carved, I think he's a cute little vampire pumpkin. See for yourself...(as always click and click again on the pics to see them full sized.)







Okay, I'm pretty sure we are done with Halloween pics now. Not much else happened today. I rested, I watched telly, I talked on the phone a little. Had a sinus headache, still have it. Yup...that's about it.

Ah...once again rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. Despite neglecting to update my live journal...nothing noteworthy has been happening.

I started taking Cymbalta which should help with the Fibromyalgia pain as well as the depression. I have been on the full dose for not quite a week...so it is too soon to tell if this is going to work out. It is helping a tiny bit with the pain and has cut my high anxiety level in half...which has been wonderful! I know I haven't talked about going back on psych meds, but it was not a decision made lightly. I just haven't been ready to share with everyone yet.

This has been one hell of a year as far as my health goes, but I'm still here. Not planning on going anywhere for a long, long, long time. I fight, I come out the other side, and I am stronger and smarter than before. If only the actual journey was that easy!

Okay...as for Halloween Marcos, Gina and I got dressed in our costumes, took some pictures and then spent the afternoon into the night hanging out, eating appetizer foods for dinner and watching movies. We watched It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. which I hadn't seen in years...I still love those original Peanuts specials from the 60's. Then we watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving because I had never seen that one. I don't know how I missed it. I liked it, a lot. After that we watched Corpse Bride which I had also never seen. I loved that one. :) And then we watched one more movie, the original Frankenstein from 1931. The one where Boris Karloff played Frankenstein's monster. That was awesome too.

And now for the costume pictures. I'll put them under a cut for you... ( Halloween Costume Fun )
So there you go, a small update and Halloween pics. I'm going to concentrate on my IM chat with Nicky now. I hope everyone had a happy and safe Halloween!

It's October, it's not even mid October and it's snowing out! SNOWING! Welcome to Colorado hope ya have boots and a ski jacket! ;) I was going to get dressed and go to the store...but the damn strawberry scented shampoo just isn't worth walking over there in the freezing temp and snow! LOL! If the snow accumulates, I might go outside to play though. :)

I am in the middle of a week from hell appointment wise. I have to pay more attention when I make these appointments, and not make them four days in a row! The appointment I had on Tuesday did get canceled, but I also had lunch plans...so I was up and out before my usual time. I'll survive, I'll just play dead all weekend...and hopefully be fine again on Monday...which is when Tuesday's appointment got moved to.

I had a really nice lunch with my sister Betsey on Tuesday afternoon. She's my younger sister, and lives about a 15 minute drive from me. Sadly, our schedules are so nuts...okay her schedule, my doctor's appointments, that we often don't see each other unless mum and dad are up here visiting. I hope that will change since I had such a good time, I hope that she did too.

Okay...so it's 2:45 am and I still need to eat something...and I have to get up at 8:00 am. As I'm sure you guys know by now, that is the middle of the night to me! :( Yuck!

Anyway...I hope everyone is doin' groovy!

I don't even know where the hell to start! Hmm...maybe I'll just start rambling, you guys are used to that coming from me. ;)( You are now warned that this cut contains major rambling...most of it makes sense...I think )

Okay, I've been awake for 18 hours, and while that might not seems like much to a lot of people for someone with Fibromyalgia and CFS...it's a bloody long time! The bed is calling me, I can hear it. ;)

I am sad about Ted Kennedy. I grew up in a house where he was considered the devil incarnate, but when I got old enough to think for myself, I knew that was very much not true. He was an amazing, awesome man and he will be missed deeply by any person who was any kind of minority and/or treated like a second class citizen here in America. He never wavered from his beliefs, and was never afraid to call out a fellow member of the Senate if they deserved it.

My friend Gina wrote what I feel should be his obituary in every paper on the planet, so I will link to her blog now: Gina's brilliant tribute to Ted Kennedy

I am still having kidney infection symptoms, I am still frustrated in my attempts to find a psychiatrist...etc, etc, etc.

I shall leave you now, as I need to hurry the hell up and get dressed so I'm not late for an appointment.

Your Name Comes From Venus

You truly appreciate beauty in all its forms. You easily see the beauty in everything. You are an admirer of art, nature, and even people. Grace and style appeal to you. You are naturally attractive and alluring. You often have a strong mutual attraction going on with people. And while you prize beauty, you are not a snob. You see what is unique and special about each person.

Your Name Comes from Mars

You have a lot of fire in your heart, and you are highly competitive as a result. You need to stay active and productive to be happy. You like to depend on yourself and yourself alone. You can be jealous at times, and you don't trust others easily. You've been burned in the past, and you still feel it. You tend to overwhelm people at first. You put it all out there, and your personality is a bit intimidating.

I took one for my given name and one for my chosen name, assuming that I would like one of the answers better. I like them both a lot and I think they both describe me fairly well. I'm going to lay on the couch now...I have a pounding headache and this kidney infection is still hanging around. I went back to the doctor yesterday and she prescribed another round of antibiotics and this time she went for the big guns, I'm taking Levaquin, which is a pretty heavy duty antibiotic.

I hope everyone else is doin' groovy!

When I went to see the doctor on Monday morning I found out I have a kidney infection AND a sinus infection. Needless to say, I am on antibiotics. I see my regular doctor on the 24th for follow-up. I feel like total shit...which is why I am keeping this short and mostly posting pictures.

Last week Shoshanah, Brian, Zelma, and Kathleen went to the zoo in Colorado Springs. I had a lot of fun, it's a pretty groovy zoo. Here are Shoshanah, Brian, Zelma, Gina and I in front of a bear statue. Kathleen took the picture, that's why she's not in the picture.



Back in January I promised myself I would conquer one of my fears by my birthday. The opportunity presented itself at the zoo. I do not like things flying at me! Birds, moths, butterflies etc. When we got to the free-flying birds exhibit I told Gina I wanted to go in with them...she looked at me like I had grown several extra heads. So...not only did I go into the exhibit...I fed one of the birds some birdseed off the end of a popsicle stick...the clincher here is that he had to fly over to the popsicle stick and perch there while I held it. I was so proud of myself. :) Here's a picture Gina took of me feeding a budgie...



I also bought a floppy sun hat at the zoo. I have been wanting one for quite a while since I sunburn so bloody easily. Anyway, I really liked this one, so I bought it. The scarf I tired on it is one that I have had forever. Anyway...I think I look pretty damn cute in my new hat!



Okay, I need to go hit the couch, I am supposed to be resting, after all! ;)

Happy 40th anniversary to Woodstock! :)

Sorry about that, a couple of friends nudged me...and I didn't realise it had been that long. Nothing much is happening here, to be honest. I'm in physio for my right hip and knee and it doesn't seem to be making things better. My right hand and wrist were healing really well...and then suddenly sort of stopped, which I kind of expected to be honest. So on Aug 6th when I went in to talk to him about having my left hand and wrist done...he said he would rather wait until righty is healed all the way, and he gave me a wrist brace I hate wearing. I've been pretty good about wearing it, though. Even if it never gets any better than it is right now, I'm glad I had the surgery! And I still want to get the left one done at some point. I go back in about 6 weeks and we'll go from there.

I've been sick...again. I wouldn't exactly call that news. ;) Going to the doctor on Monday morning at 8:45 am. I hope this doctor, they are from my doctor's practice but I have never met him/her before...anway, I hope they don't mind monosyllabic grunts in answer to their questions! ;) As I'm sure you all know, I am not a morning person, at all!

My therapist, Teresa and I have come to the conclusion that I need to talk to a psychiatrist about some psych meds. I know what you're thinking, because I have thought it myself! T. has agreed to be my advocate and make sure I don't get drugged into catatonia. And I am much better educated about psych meds and how to tell a doctor no than I was before. I just feel like it would be better to head the impending breakdown off, rather than letting it happen. I said to Gina in the car Saturday afternoon that I wasn't sure I could survive another break down...and I really am not sure that I can. And before you ask, it was my idea to try meds again not Teresa's...I am not being pressured into this.

I guess that's about it from this end. I am going to go play with my Facebook for a little while and then go to bed. Hope everyone is having a groovy weekend!

Tagged by:anewdaysjourney


firstly: if you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question.

secondly: tag eight people. don't refuse to do that. don't tag who tagged you.



how would you describe your siblings (if you have any)?
Older brother is so much like me, it sometimes freaks out the rest of the family when we are together, because he and I didn't grow up together. Older sister is one of the coolest people I have ever met. Rather than getting un-cool as she has gotten older, the cool just evolves. Younger brother can be a very nice person, when he wants to be. Younger sister can be wonderful to talk to about your problems.

have you ever lied to a teacher?
Sort of. When I was in Freshman Honours English we were doing a unit about poetry and we had to write a Haiku. I tried and tried but I had writer's block from hell, and I can't always write something with such strict form easily. So, I turned in a Haiku I had written several years before, at a different school, in a different state. I got an A on it twice. ;)

what kind of book would you describe as a good read?
The kind I get so into that time stands still and I end up reading most, if not all, of it in one sitting. It can be any genre, that part isn't important.

what's your occupation?
Writer/Dreamer/Student of life/Unofficial counselor to my friends/Untrained medical consultant/Tech support.

what stereotype are you?
"It's always the quiet ones."

what's your current fandom/obsession/addiction?
Torchwood!!! And to a slightly lesser extent Doctor Who and Harry Potter.

what are you listening to right now?
"One Rainy Wish" Jimi Hendrix


what food could you eat every day for weeks and not get sick of?
Sausage, as long as there are multiple variates to choose from.

what websites do you always visit when you go online?
G-mail, Cakewrecks, LJ, a bunch of friends' blogs, Facebook

what are you going to do next year?
I don't even know what I'm doing the day after tomorrow! ;) Let's say next year I am going to fly to the moon and back using nothing but the energy all the caffeine I consume gives me. ;)

what was the cutest thing you've seen today?
Delilah laying in my hallway on his back...showing off his fluffy tummy of doom!

does the weather affect your mood?
Yes, bright sunlight gives me headaches and makes my eyes hurt like hell...which makes me depressed etc. I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, but I had to go and be the odd one...again. Rather than getting it in the winter due to lack of light, which is what most people who have SAD have, mine is in the Spring and Summer when there is plenty of light. I am happiest on dark and rainy days.

what is your zodiac sign?
Virgo

do you want to learn another language?
I took eight years of French and have forgotten most of it, because I never got to use it. I can still understand it okay-ish, so I have the feeling I could remember more of it if I had to. As for learning another language, I would love to learn Latin, Welsh and Spanish. I know, weird combo! LOL!

five things you can't live without.
In no particular order: coffee, music, my friends, my cats and books.

if you could meet anyone now, who would you meet?
I wish I could remember my dad's dad. My grandfather died shortly after my first birthday, from all the stories I have heard he and I would have been quite an awesome, mischievous twosome, and it sounds like he was an amazing, funny and interesting man. So, that's who I would like to meet.

what's something you'd like to say to someone right now?
I'm not amazing, I'm just a person and I put my pants on one leg at a time just like you. There is no amazing secret to how I manage to have a life: I just put one foot in front of the other and go. I am not a role model, and I am not here for your hero worship. (That isn't aimed at anyone who actually reads my blog)

what are you looking forward to?
Fall foliage and cooler days.

say something to the person who tagged you: Kez, you are not an "Official waste of space for the time being" as you put it! Now be nice to yourself, or I will have to come kick your arse! ;)


I'm not tagging anybody, if you want to do this, then do it. If not, then don't, it's all good!

I'm really not feeling well today. I'm tired from a myriad of different things and I'm feeling physically blah. I wanted to take a nice warm shower and relax a little, I'm hurting and sometimes that helps. I thought while I was in there I might as well shave my legs, it had been quite a while. My foot slipped and pulled down the tension pole that holds the baskets I keep all my shower things in...this happened once before and it hit my smack across the cheekbone and hurt like hell and left me with a badly bruised cheek. So...knowing how much that would have hurt, I instinctively reached out to stop it...with my right hand, you know the one I had surgery on about 4 weeks ago, that one. Which, by the way, has really been hurting for the last few days anyway. The fucking shower thing hit me right on the incision and the area around it, the area that has been hurting for a few days. I just sat there in too much pain to even form words. It hurts so much right now...still an hour later! And then...some water got into the shaving cream can and the damn thing leaked shaving cream all over my shower. I don't know if leaked is the right word...a slow explosion is a better description. It was a brand new can...it slowly exploded until there was nothing left in it, which made a massive mess in my bath tub.

All I wanted was a nice relaxing shower, so that maybe I could feel better and get some decent sleep. Yeah...so not what I fucking got! So not fucking amused. So in pain right now...bloody hell my hand hurts! :( I guess my not relaxed, not feeling better, still hurting self is going to bed now.

glitter-graphics.com

I hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th of July! And for my friends not in the U.S. I hope you have a fun and safe Saturday! ;)

My hand is doing quite well. Stitches came out on Thursday, and the doctor couldn't even force carpal tunnel syndrome symptoms! :D I made the consultation appointment for my left hand. It's in August, cos they like you to wait at least eight weeks. I cannot wait to start writing letters and making cards again! Ooo...and crochet and maybe even make jewelry again! :D

I'm off in a few minutes to make a grocery store run...I need some dinner for tonight.

I'm still mostly okay. I'm in quite a bit of pain, but it isn't so bad that I can't handle it. Managed a shower Sunday afternoon, that was nice. I am really not liking being one handed...July 2nd will be here soon, right? ;) Am exhausted...need rest.

The surgery went well, didn't even take them very long to do. I'm hurting, but not so badly that I can't handle it. So...definitely assume that no news is good news! ;)

Ooo...look at the pretty. :) I really like this new layout, obviously or I wouldn't have chosen it. ;) I've uploaded some new icons as well...all them from the so wrong but so funny icons by the person who does the Kawaii Not comic, see the links section in the sidebar. :)

Not a lot happened today. I discovered that my hair is just long enough for baby sized barrettes, that made me happy. :) I bought some lavender ones with plastic starbursty things on them...I will try to remember to take a picture of me wearing them. I have decided I am no longer going to make "plans" for my hair...whatever I feel like doing I will do. Right now I am leaning towards growing it long again...but that could change at any time.

Nothing else to say, really. My tummy is growling demands for food and I think I need some therapeutic Torchwood viewing. ;)

I know, I really should be better about updating. There just isn't much to talk about. My life has been nothing but same shit, different day most of the time. I do have something to say today, though. ;)

On Friday the 19th of June I'm having carpal tunnel surgery on my right hand and wrist. I have talked to a lot of people that have had the surgery, and I talked to my surgeon about it and I have come to the conclusion that doing it now before it gets even worse is a good idea...because right now it will likely be a quick fifteen minute surgery...as long as there isn't a lot to "clean up" in there. If I let it get worse and worse that surgery is going to get more and more complicated. So...right hand first and if it works and goes well and doesn't hurt too much I will have the left one done when the right one heals. So...I would appreciate positive thoughts, prayers or what ever it is you would do in this situation... if you don't mind. :) My mum, dad, nephew and the dog are all coming up the Thurs. before the surgery...and after the surgery my mum will stay with me that night instead of at my sister and brother-in-law's house. I am a little scared, but also I know everything will be fine.

Other than that, there really isn't anything interesting happening. I will do my best to update here with info about how I am doing post surgery. I can type one handed...and it's a good thing because my right arm will be imobilised for at least two weeks. Assume that no news is good news, cos if things go badly (god forbid) I will have someone update my LJ on my behalf. Okay...no more negative thoughts. :)

We have been having some seriously crazy weather here. There have been multiple tornado warnings here in the last few weeks. The thing is where I am, the funnel clouds hardly ever touch down and become actual tornadoes. East of me, in the flat part of Colorado, they get more actual tornadoes...but the chances of one hitting me are pretty slim. Anyway, because of the weather we have been getting some awesome thunderstorms and rain. I love it so much when it rains and thunders etc. :) So that's making me happy, except when I get caught in them on my way home from the town centre or something like that. ;)

Okay...I have some cards and letters I want to finish before I have surgery, but I have to work on them a little at a time cos otherwise my hand and wrist get a lot worse than usual! So...I'll update after the surgery if not before. :) Hope everyone is doin' groovy! :)